Monday, February 24, 2014

Barf City, but I didn't yell!

Last week I was thrown up on for the very first time! It was gross, but I managed to make it through. Poor baby Kenna either ate something icky or caught a tummy bug. She puked a few times, but seemed fine otherwise. We had a nice weekend and celebrated my goddaughter's 12th birthday on Saturday. Then I started feeling sick on Saturday night and now its Monday and Lance has been puking. But I haven't yelled! Maybe it is easier to keep my calm when I know he's not feeling well. I'm hoping he recovers from whatever he has a quickly as Kenna did. I hate when my poor babies are sick!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Failure :(

I feel like this past week has just been failure after failure. I couldn't go even one day without yelling at the kids! Leaving the house was a constant battle every day, even when we were going somewhere fun. The kids were fighting a lot and I was loosing my mind. I'm trying to be a better parent, but I honestly feel like I'm failing. My kids deserve to have a mom who respects them and talks to them in a respectful way, but I am having such a hard time not yelling. I get so frustrated and my voice just raises without much thought. I know I am naturally a loud person and I try to modulate my volume, but I know even if the words I'm saying are not terrible, yelling is damaging my kids. Hopefully this week will go better.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Work in progress...

       Man, this no yelling thing is HARD!!! Jess and I both come from families where yelling is just what happens. I've noticed that we yell even when we are not angry. We are just really loud talkers! Well, at least I am. This week has been going pretty well, and the kids have been getting a long ok. On Wednesday night it was getting close to bed time and the kids were getting a little crazy. They were running around and making a bunch of noise. Usually this is a trigger for me, but that night I was able to step back and enjoy that they were actually playing together and not fighting. Jess had a harder time, but we managed to not yell.
        Potty training is still a struggle, but we had a great day yesterday! The kids and I met friends at the library and Lance told me he had to go potty for the first time ever in public! It was a huge win for me, as he has been doing great while out with Jess. He went twice while we were there and was dry when we got home. Today wasn't as successful, because he peed in his pull up about 2 minutes after I put it on him! But baby steps are good.
        Kenna is still not sleeping in her bed and just not sleeping well in general. This is a huge drag on me right now because I know when I don't sleep well I have a really hard time not yelling. I think her teeth are really bothering her a lot. Both kids have dentist appointments next week, so I will have to ask the dentist if there's something we can do to help. On the bright side, she has been going back to sleep in our bed pretty easily and without having to nurse every time. She is so sweet with her kisses and snuggles at night. I just can't sleep well with her having to be practically on top of me. I'm hoping it resolves itself soon and we can all get back to a good sleep schedule.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Struggling

Last week was full of struggles. Kenna hasn't been sleeping well and Lance has been pushing and testing boundaries like crazy. Friday was particularly difficult. Getting out of the house has been frustrating with both kids being reluctant to do much for themselves. Lance refusing to put on his coat or shoes makes me so irritated. I know he can do it, and he just won't. With Kenna being so cranky from not sleeping and possibly teeth and Lance testing my every request, I yelled. A lot.  I'm not proud of it and it makes me incredibly sad. I was also rough with the kids. I feel terrible about how I treated my precious babies. I know that one day or even one week in the grand scheme of life will not determine a whole lot,  but I really want to be a better mom and treat my kids with love and respect always.
.